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We live in a society that is inherently destination-oriented. We’re constantly considering our next step, big or small. This becomes especially more apparent when guiding a child through their college search and application process!
With the beginning of spring usually comes the start of students and parents/guardians visiting campuses and communicating with admission representatives in an effort to begin building their college lists. Here are some tips on how to get started talking with your teen about the process:
Now is a great time for parents/guardians (aka supporters) and students to talk about college and career plans. For supporters, we encourage you to begin this conversation with your student with a simple question: “Why do you want to go to college?”
You may find yourself nervous and wondering: “What if my child says they don’t want to go to college?” You must put aside your own expectations that your child will want to attend a certain university, study a certain subject, or even go to college at all, and simply ask the question!
Asking this question will begin transferring ownership of the discovery process to your child and help them to begin a period of self-awareness that is critical. In order for your child’s college application process to be fruitful, your student needs to find their voice.
Because of our natural inclination to be destination-oriented, it’s likely that your child may respond with something similar to: “Isn’t that what you do after high school?” or “I don’t know what else to do.”
So, how exactly should you respond to an answer like that? You should remind your student that, regardless of the circumstance, going to college should never be the default answer! There is too much time and money at stake to follow a whim. That doesn’t mean a life plan must be in place before college can be considered, but it does mean going to college needs to hold some sense of purpose.
As a supporter, you should know that it’s highly likely that your child could change their major during their undergraduate career. The uncertainty that your student feels now, as a high school underclassmen, will likely follow them into college - and that’s okay! Make it your priority to help them face their uncertainty with confidence. Ask them questions like: “What are the three things you want to make sure you accomplish by the time you cross the stage at your college graduation?”
When you ask them this, they may look back at you with a blank stare. Encourage them to just simply consider it over the next few days, and perhaps begin a journal where they can document their college and career goals.
The point of this process is to help your child develop an inner dialogue and analyze their interests and aptitudes. You want to help your child look past superficial things - like going to college in a warm-weather climate, or having a big athletic program - and instead focus on what really matters to them as an individual.
If your high schooler is still an underclassmen, spring is a great time to start a conversation with them about college. Remember, stay "student-centered" and focus on allowing them to talk with you rather than imposing your own expectations on them. Provide them with encouragement, ask questions that promote self-reflection, and remain unbiased to their thought-process.
Content produced in collaboration with Peter Van Buskirk.
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