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2 min read
Erin Barnes
:
May 07, 2020
The college search and application process is more confusing and overwhelming than in years past. It’s not realistic to expect your high schooler to handle things entirely on their own, but there is also a fine line between helping and taking over. If you’re the parent of a high school junior approaching the “uphill” portion of the college planning process, addressing the question of ownership early on can help ensure a low level of stress for you and your student.
The desire to play a significant role in your child’s road to college is understandable. After all, helping them make the “right decision” seems like an easy way to help set them up for a happy and successful future, which is all that you want for your child. What could be wrong with you having a strong hand in where and how they apply to college?
The truth of the matter is that the best role you can take in this process is one of a teammate, as opposed to a coach. For your child, this process is a launching pad for self-discovery and will help them recognize and seize opportunities that matter most to them - not you.
The sooner you realize and acknowledge your role, the sooner your child will feel empowered to make decisions for themselves. It’s not only important to recognize this internally, but also to communicate with your child about how you intend to participate in their college search process.
The sooner you communicate with them, the happier the process will be for all. You should reassure your child that you intend to be here for them as a sounding board and a safety net, to ensure that they don’t fall through the cracks, but that you will not overstep or try to steer them in one direction or another. The best outcomes in college planning occur when the student is vested in the ownership of.
Allowing your child to take ownership of their future is one of the best gifts you can give them. As college admission officers are eager to see how students are emerging as young adults, they will want to hear their voices and learn about their accomplishments. They want a measure of the student’s vision and self-confidence that can only come from the student. As a parent, you have done your job in that you have brought your child to the point where they can begin speaking for themself. Now, it’s their turn.
Content produced in collaboration with Peter Van Buskirk.
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